I've Been Feeling Empty Lately

Hi friend,

I've been thinking about something lately that I don't see people talk about enough.

That feeling when you're working on something and you realize no one actually cares if you do this or not.

No one's watching.
No one's waiting.
No one will notice if you just stop.

Your parents aren't checking. Your friends aren't asking about it.
The people you want to impress don't even know you're working.

And suddenly, all the motivation just drains out.

Because if no one sees it, does it even matter?

I've felt this more times than I can count. Working on things in private, building things no one asks about, showing up when there's no applause, no recognition, no proof that any of it matters.

And here's the uncomfortable truth I keep running into: most of the work that actually changes your life happens when no one's watching.

The daily repetitions no one sees.
The private decisions no one knows about.
The small improvements that don't make good Instagram posts.

That's where real change happens. In the silent, invisible work.

But that doesn't make it feel any less empty.

We're wired to want external validation.
To want someone to say, "You’re working so much, you’re doing great."

And when that doesn't come, it's easy to think: why am I even doing this?

Here's what I'm realizing though - and I'm still working this out myself, so I don't have a perfect answer.

The question isn't "who am I doing this for?"
The question is "who will I be if I don't?"

Not in some motivational poster way. I mean literally.
If you stop doing the thing because no one's watching, what does that make you?

Someone who only moves when there's an audience. Someone whose effort depends on applause. Someone who needs permission from others to believe their work matters.

Is that who you want to be?

I don't think the answer is "do it for yourself" in that cheesy, self-love way people talk about. That always felt hollow to me.

I think it's simpler than that.

You do it because the alternative is worse.

The alternative is becoming someone who abandons things the moment they stop feeling good. Someone who quits when validation doesn't come fast enough. Someone who needs constant external proof that they're on the right path.

That person doesn't build anything. That person is always starting over.

The work you do when no one's watching isn't about proving something to yourself. It's about building yourself into someone who doesn't need the watching.

Someone who can trust their own judgment about what matters.
Someone who can keep going when the feedback loop is silent.
Someone who doesn't collapse the moment external validation disappears.

That's not discipline. That's not motivation.

That's identity.

And identity gets built in private. In the repetitions no one sees. In the decisions no one knows about.

I'm not saying it doesn't suck. It does. Working in silence is hard. Doing things when no one notices is draining.

But here's what I keep coming back to:

The validation you're waiting for - from whoever you think should care - even if it came, it wouldn't fill the emptiness.

Because the emptiness isn't from lack of recognition. It's from not trusting that the work matters even without it.

So maybe the real work isn't the thing you're building. Maybe it's building the part of you that can keep building when no one's paying attention.

I don't have this figured out. I still struggle with it. I still have days where I think "what's the point if no one sees this?"

But I'm learning that those are the days that matter most.

Not because "you vs you" or any of that.
But because those are the days you're choosing who you become.

Someone who needs an audience, or someone who doesn't.

That's all I've been thinking about.

Until Next Week
Lorenc - Founder of Success Skill